Journal Entry #12: Speak with Eyes Closed (Everyday Vulnerability Series, Part 1/5)

This is my first post of a five-part series on what vulnerability looks like in my everyday life. Sometimes, I’m being vulnerable; other times, I’m reacting to someone else’s vulnerability. Both have required a lot of courage.

I hope they resonate with you and inspire you to live more vulnerably, too!

Speaking with my eyes closed is like writing like nobody’s reading because it helps me communicate from the heart.

I recently attended a yoga and energy workshop with 50 other people at Kripalu, an Ayurvedic wellness center. The goal of the workshop was to listen deeply and engage with your true self. In our final class exercise, I shared my answers to these two questions in a group of three other people:

  • What is falling away from your life?
  • What will you bring into your life?

When I talk to people every day, I naturally read and react to facial expressions. In general, a smile says to keep going, and a frown or blank look says to stop or change tack. I react to these signals, so automatically that I decided to shut my eyes when answering the questions to my group.

My response surprised me, especially because I’d been so calm and collected all weekend. I gasped and then cried and said, “I didn’t realize it until now, but I am so afraid of the people I love dying.”

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